When justice seems so far..

I haven’t been writing. Just getting over a terrible flare. In December 21, 2010. I went to have a procedure. Simple routine same day surgery. I will NEVER forget that day as it change my quantity of life and future forever. I try to suit however 2 attorneys later dishonest, the first attorney made huge mists and my case almost got dismissed. Today 6 days before trial, 2nd attorney very rude , unkind called yesterday demanding I drop medical malpractice case . Looking back, I miss all the signs of a dishonest attorney, false promises not once but twice.  I feel lost, tired, sick.  Is anyone listening?  How do you fight when hopes seems lost.?  Today I suffer from chronic Interstial cystitis, urine retention, %70 of by bladder is gone, colon reception and 0ver 10 surgeries , over 50 E.R visits past 2 years, a morphine pump and Botox through cystoscope every 4-6 month. How can any person sustain a job like this.  Despite everything I learned, attorneies not always have your best interest by heart.

l was told by one of the Doctored who operated on me; “Betty, you will never be able to proof we did something wrong, don’t you dare open that can or worms ” was Doctor K right? Right now my mind is clouded, only a miracle could change things around.

 

 

Another day

When i first started this blog, i was not sure about themes or topics to write about. Since my mind never rest, i was hesitant to write about whatever came up day by day. (after all, who will be reading this anyways…) I thought it would  be much like my “diary”.  So here it goes, just another day.

For the past 5 month my heart been aching. I have done everything i could to ignore it but still feels the same and getting comfortable. Not sure if i should thank God about having to know this kind of pain. You see, I been known physical pain since 2011. I live with it. Someday are better than others but when is bad, I am talking about “ER visit bad”. I manage  to survive.  Now; this other kind of pain. The one that feels someone  literally ripping your heart out, that one i just happen to discovered. I wish i knew how long this pain in my heart would last. I keep reading about it and everyone is different. For some, this type of pain is a death sentence for others is prison. My prayer is that one day i wake up, and see Mr. HOPE  again right next to me. But of course, only God knows…

P.S. Good night … to whoever took the time to read or stumble into this blog. Forrest Gump was right “life is like a box of chocolates”. 

Forgiveness.

As a born again Christian, I growp up hearing many sermons about forgiveness. A topic I did not pay much attention considering my age and what I have been though. “A 15 year old girl who felt she knew it all” I thought, it is easy to talk about this topic when you never had walk on this “shoes”. Well, I have to share; as difficult as it was to look into the eye of a person that have stole part of your enocence almost two decades ago and finally forgive it all. Feeling  free of guilt, rage , hurt, betrayal and shame, has been one of the most incredible miracle I have witness.

I can’t speak for everyone out there, however to be able to forgive those who hurt me in ways I can’t even describe have set me “free”. Forgiveness is not for the person that hurts you; forgiveness it simply for “YOU”.  It took me may years to understand this concept. Alone with many research as well. Today I wanted to share with you the joy I feel, because I believe it would help someone out there who might be  struggling  with  this problem.  Just remember , to be able to forgive will not come from you alone.  It would come though Jesus Christ who was the first to set the perfect  example of what “true”  forgiveness really means. So if you are wishing to forgive or be forgiven, ask Jesus for help on this matter. I honestly believe, alone it would be almost impossible to handle this problem on your own.

P.S.  Isaiah 1:18, 2 Corinthians 5:17

Living with a Chronic illness.

When i was firs diagnosed with Interstitial Cystitis, not in a million years thought my life would be like this. (imagine your hands without skin and urine running through it all day)  For those not families with the “Spoon Theory” it is just like it. You wake up in the morning with an amount of “spoon” to use for the day.  Once they all used up, you either take your chances borrowing from the next day stack of spoons  “doing one more task” or stop for the day.  Having chronic Interstitial Cystitis have changed my life forever.  This is NOT the life i plan 15 years ago. This was NOT suppose to happen to me. Surprised !!  But It did. So here I am; on this gorgeous sunny day, looking though my bedroom window imagining how today would have been; if my life has gone as plan.

P.S. Today I would have been “a wife” on my way to my honeymoon/vacation. But details of this one, would have to be share later.  when i feel stronger  enough emotionally to share what could have been an amazing “love story”.

God Bless everyone…

 

Life is full of surprises…

Hi everyone and welcome to my own personal  “Word Press”.  I am not sure where this blog journey will take me however; thanks to my “baby girl” my niece for helping me find a way to share some of my interesting life for all of you. As many of us, we plan our lives since the moment we learn to write our names and later we find out “life is full of surprises”.  I hope as you follow my blog it can brighten up your day, make you smile and bring some hope into your world.  Feel free to comment and share.  🙂